by Chloe Xu
And the fifth angel poured out his vial upon the throne of the beast; and its kingdom was filled with darkness;
and they gnawed their tongues for pain.
— Revelation 16:10
I started by pushing my breastbone past my lungs unlodging
an adam-rib from my jaw when girls bubble up they bite their teeth into gums assume
the shape of a serrated shark skeleton before our memorial tablet two light-
skinned boys teach us to say amen with the proper inflections I pray God I deserve
everything every girl wants to die brilliant be remembered as such bright like a picked scab
you catch us at our most primal desires travel across realms only to exhale into the folds of your brain
I must be surpassing your power after all it is harder using a mouth than an ear can you hear this God
this scene this mother looks like a sunlit ghost baby with her eyes closed lips too holy
for prayer moving in prayer at this point I still believe my mother is the best god
that I am passing through another birth that I will pop out fully woman on American soil she is
shaping me prettier thinner whiter readier forgive me! I forgot I shall not want
I am about to ask the boys how to cleave a want off a body the lanky one is translating lying lips
are an abomination in honesty I want again I ask for forgiveness to strip back this flesh suit wrangle
a fingerprint into fire a radish above its roots is it true God is heaven a hot spring glazed
breastbones rupturing puce skin prayers rolling from shriveled shark mouths after eternity
finally rendered toothless or is that hell I have not been told what belongs to what all want all body
on Earth we contain both at once I have no idea how my mother manages as for me I gnaw my tongues
for pain I touch my body I am always in my body God I deserve to witness something beautiful just beautiful enough that I can describe it in my mother’s name I pray amen
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Chloe Xu is a creative from Chicagoland whose work has been recognized by National Poetry Quarterly and the National Scholastic Art and Writing Awards. When she is not reading or writing poetry, she loves to blog at chloexu.substack.com and solve math problems.
Image: Christopher Stites
ID: vibrant, orange flames.
Psaltery & Lyre 